Friday, April 02, 2004

NO APRIL FOOLING

Everybody can breathe a sigh of relief. The President and the Vice President will testify after all. Naturally they will not be under oath. Swearing to tell the truth would not be going with their strengths. And what this nation needs in a time of war is a strong President. Lucky for him there's a war.

Still, he's going to have to explain himself to the 9/11 commission and come up with all kinds of reasons why he was so worried about Saddam and not at all worried about terrorism before the World Trade Center and Pentagon was hit. Your New York Times columnist says it's no big deal, he don't even listen to the hearings. 9/11, according to him, was a failure of imagination, not of intelligence.

Maybe he should help the administration out in the imagination department. A man who don't need to actually listen to testimony to pass judgement has got enough imagination for twelve angry men. He could share.

Then again, I don't think that President Bush is lacking in imagination. I mean, all those weapons of mass destruction were imaginary. Saddam being ready to launch mass murder with 45 minutes warning was more fantasy than fact. And all the little lies they tell every day, what are they but the made up stuff of dreamers and despots?

Those little lies are probably why the President won't testify under oath. It's not that he plans to prevaricate. It's just that he's so used to being able to make it up as he goes that he can't be sure a few fabrications won't slip out. And then he'd have to explain the meaning of the word 'is' or 'crusade' and he just don't have the time what with all the fundraising he's got to do. It could get way too messy and distract the nation from the important business of getting him