Friday, December 05, 2003

PRESIDENTIAL VAUDEVILLE

I have to hand it to the President. He takes a better picture than I. Of course, he has more resources. I wish I had the whole US Army to pose with me any way I wanted. Imagine the possibilities.

His Thanksgiving pictures from Iraq reminded me of the classic Broadway musicals where the whole point of the show was the song-and-dance. You can't exactly hear the orchestra, it being a photo and all, but you can see the smiling back-up singer soldiers and chorus dancer Marines moving into position. And the President's happy smile, his twinkling eye, that saucy cock of the head. He's not just the President, he's a regular guy just like you only with Secret Service, a private jet, and a personal valet to dress him.

There was one phoro that reminded me of Harold Hill explaining to the town how he was gonna teach the kids to play like Sousa. And another was like Jerry Lewis showing Dean-o the big fat turkey he just cooked with his own hands. Bing Crosby couldn't have put on a better holiday show.

America needs a President who understands his people don't want real life, they want a musical comedy with a happy ending. Life is hard enough without having to face the truth. I'd rather face the music ... and dance.