SHRODINGER'S LIE

I went to hear Al Franken talk about his new book. You know, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. In the book, he exposes all these big lies by Bush & Co., by Fox News, and other right-wing Republicans. He kept going on last night about how confused he was that these people could say such whoppers with a straight face, much less righteous indignation. He clearly don't understand quantum politics which shows that a statement exists as both fact and fiction simultaneously. Don't believe me on this. Schrodinger was a famous physicist who may or may not have killed his cat and thus made quantum phenomena understandable to your average pet owner.

What Schrodinger explained was that, until you check, a 'fact' is both THE TRUTH and A LIE, because you can't know which as long as the box stays closed. You can pick the position that makes you happy to believe in and maintain your integrity. But, just like Pandora, you must not open the box.

And if you wait long enough, it might not matter. See, Franken even came close to getting this when he mentioned how Arnold told the press that he would explain the groping stuff after the election. Well now it's after the election, and nobody cares because it's OLD NEWS. So the cat don't never have to be let out of the box.

Now, if you check, like Franken did in his book, okay, so the probabilities collapse into cold hard realities. Still, lots and lots of things that the Republican Machine says turn out to be true! ("Good morning," for example. Or, "I'm happy to see you.")

He focuses in his book on the stuff that turns out to be lies. (Bush said that in his tax cut, "the vast majority of the help goes to the people at the bottom end of the economic ladder." )

But I still say you can't blame them. Nobody can know if what they say are lies until somebody checks! It ain't the President's or Fox News' fault for understanding this aspect of quantum politics and stating whatever they want to be true as gospel. Maybe by the time somebody opens the box, it will be. Ya never know.

THE LOVE DRUG

There's a book by Michael Gurian that came out called What Could He Be Thinking. Twenty years of neurobiological research, and what do they find? Men get a massive dose of the "I love you" drug shot into their bloodstream right after they come. Sex and no cigar means no cuddly feelings. One spritz begets the other.

Us girls, on the other hand, get ours from just the rubbing of bodies. No orgasm necessary. I just like to cuddle.

And this is news in science.

There's more. The guy spritz is short lived. A few hours and his body chemistry is back to normal. No special feeling of closeness until the next time. Gals get a higher dose of attachment drugs that last for days. Biochemistry is making her yearn for his company morning, noon and night. Such a gal is not crowding her lover, she is being driven by Mother Nature's 100% organic brand of Ecstasy to crave his company.

Why don't we both get the same juice in the same amount so that perfect love can thrive? Why, you ask, should Mother Nature be so unequal in her chemistry? Mother Nature is wise, and having created your male to go to work to provide for gals, she's not going to undo her own design by making him too moony to maraud on his beloved's behalf. And your female, having gotten what she wanted from her tryst, she needs some extra encouragement to stick around and wait for the boob. I mean, she could go out and get another guy while he's hunting buffalo, sexy and available as she is. But no, she's got this drug in her that makes her want him and only him. And so we have, if not equality, a kind of balance.

OEDIBUSh REX

All the hoo-hah this week over President George using footage from September 11 in his campaign videos, you'd think he was doing something wrong like taking advantage of somebody else's tragedy for his own purposes. But he's the head of state, and a king from another great dynasty said it best (if you'll forgive me for quoting the French in the President's behalf) - "L'etat c'est moi" meaning "I am the country." The same thing applies today to our beloved President George. He is America, and 9/11 happened to America, so 9/11 is his tragedy to use as he likes. See?

And, likewise,enough with the wondering about how he could use 9/11 to attack Iraq when there was no connection between Al Qaeda and Saddam. You is looking for a causal connection, silly. Cause means logic, but this world runs on emotion. Naturally, he took the emotion, namely fear, from 9/11 and used it to heal another emotional scar of his own, namely his daddy complex. Daddy couldn't finish off Saddam any more than Laius could end the plague on his country, so the son has to take pop's place, set the wheels in motion and close his eyes to the consequences. And like the son of Laius, the son of George I would rather put out his eyes than see his own responsiblity for his actions.