Tuesday, September 21, 2010


So I got my hair cut today - a trim and a poof. Hair on your female is an important indicator of her femininity quotient, the size of hair correlating directly with how important she thinks femininity is in being female.

Now there are two ways to measure feminine hair: how long and how big. Your long-hair-type girl places her value on her innocence and/or Mother-Naturalness. Don't bother her with finance and don't interfere with the raising of the children. She's not too worried about how successful you are just so long as you talk to her at least once a day. Oh, and lay off the cologne. You wearing cologne is like you driving a Hummer: major character flaw.

Your big hair shows a girl who wants all the social niceties observed and piled high on her head according to the rules as she understands them. She puts in countless hours on her personal appearance in exchange for you picking her up, picking a suitable restaurant and then, of course, picking up the tab. She labors hard and long to help her man get ahead in the world, so you better pick up your ambition and get somewhere, because her happiness depends on your providing her with the social status to which she aspires.