Friday, July 23, 2004


Your Democrats in California is all huffy and high-horse about the Governor calling the legislature a buncha "girlie men." But huffy and high-horse is a very girlie response. A manly response is to duke it out, mano a machine gun.

Governor Mr. Universe, he knows about squashing the opposition, and if it was only guys like him in charge of the world, we wouldn't have no civilization. And me, I like having laws and public works like roads and indoor plumbing and places like Paris. Paris is definitely got a girlie side.

Civilization, after all, is a very girlie thing. You know, talking instead of hitting. Sharing instead of enslaving. Making things beautiful instead of bombing them back to the Stone Age. Trying to take care of the whole family, even the cousins who spend a lot of time freeloading in state institutions.

People who say that the tough guys made this world are teenage-minded adults who watch too many movies made by teenage-minded adults. Even your big hulking Mr. Universes, who tear through their competitors like so much raw meat, they know they can only go so far before women start wrinkling their noses at them and going home with someone nicer who bathes. And maybe uses hair gel.

What's an Ex-Terminator to do? He can insult the 'girlie men' all he wants, but if he wants to attract female attention he better be breathtakingly rich. It takes very expensive presents to overcome the smell. And sooner or later, the girl of his dreams is gonna get him to bathe. And maybe use hair gel. And drink latte'. And then, as he learns bit by bit to compromise, his worst nightmare comes true. He's turned into a 'girlie man' himself!

Girlie power has beaten Mr. Universe. Just look at the California Legislature. Arnold can whine, he can hurl insults, but sooner or later, he'll come with hat in hand, like a cat with a dead mouse. He don't eat the mouse, even though he would enjoy crunching its bones. He lays it at the girlie's doorstep in hope that he will be given a saucer of cream in milady's boudoir. Civilization wins again.

No comments: